I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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