what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
