So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
