Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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