Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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