I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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