btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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