hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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