after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
