Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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