Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize