; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
