Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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