Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
