Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
