i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
