you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
