ugly people sure do ruin things
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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