Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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