I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
