See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
