I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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