he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
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I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
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WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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