Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
