So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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