Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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