so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
