I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
COCAINE IS GR8
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
