dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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