I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
