what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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