I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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