I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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