I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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