dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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