grandma shit on top of the toilet
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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