No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
