I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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