i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
