Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
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dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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