please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
