found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
