I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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