And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
