If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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