I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Hippo gnu deer
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
