No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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