I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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