margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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