Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
