...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
