There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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