Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
honey bunches of taint.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
