so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
