Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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