My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
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It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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