im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
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