You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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