So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Randomize
