Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
