I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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