I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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