omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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